Finding comfort In All The Wrong Places

I’ve been so uptight for the past week, that I was always shouting down at people around me, even  those I chat with could not understand my fit of anger or sudden offline status in the middle of a conversation, I try to control myself to not act like a sour person, lol. My family members were just tolerating my tantrums. The thing is if I’m pregnant, I would’ve blamed it all on the pregnancy, but it was not that, I couldn’t really say what was making me uncomfortable and restless and quick to anger. Not even my favorite dishes could help. I visited  Facebook, made some random posts that comes to mind, commented in some of the groups and pages that I frequent there, still no sense of comfort, my adorables mean the world to me, so I guess they give me a brief comfort before I push them away to do something or the other, lolz.

Not until on Monday, that I was surprisingly comforted by my seasonal movie that I watch not very often, lolz, you wouldn’t believe that I sat down in front of the tv for over 3hours watching Revenge series. I was so captivated by the movie, that when I came to, I was feeling a lot better than I was.

I’m very grateful to God that I’m already a movie lover, and I constantly watch movies every once in a short while and I’ve got a good imagination, if not, what happened with the movie that Monday would’ve turned to an obsession. Because when you are looking for solace or comfort, and you eventually got it through one way or the other, you wouldn’t want to let go of that thing that gives you the comfort that you seek, that is where obsession comes in.

That’s why there are lots of drug addicts, food addicts, sex addicts, chain smokers, drunks,etc. These people may have one problem or the other and in their bid to get comfort they fall into the wrong group and get the supposed comfort that they seek in a wrongful place. When we are depressed or stressed out, we usually look for comfort in new places, since the old comfort zone seems to be lacking in his comforting, lolz.

Even people trying to let go of an habit tend to get obsessed in another habit, like people trying to leave drugs, they usually look for comfort in sex and drinks, if they eventually get relief in either of the two, they hold on to it and become another set of addicts.

What should be done to not look for comfort in the wrong place? So as to get a comfort that doesn’t come with baggages? Now that’s a post for another day, so I’ll have enough time to make research.

Got to dash, feel free to leave a comment...

xoxo

Is There Really No Shortcut To Happiness?

We all have come to believe that that are no shortcut to happiness, because of that believe, many people are happy to settle for a short time happiness, cause that’s what we believe we can get if we try to look for an easy way out.

But, there can be a way to get a full-time happiness, want to know? Hehehehe, through Love! Now it can sound cliché, but trust me Love conquers all, through Love you can get all you want. You can take the easy way or the hard way, but with Love you can get what you want the easy way.

I have a friend who doesn’t believe in love, infact she’s going to be happy that I’m using her story as an example, hehehe. Because the story is beyond cliché. Let me call her Sonia, for privacy.

Sonia doesn’t believe in love at all, she’d rather  be with a guy just because he’s ready to tolerate her, don’t get me wrong, she’s very pretty and brilliant, but she lacked self-esteem. She used to laugh at us because we were waiting for true love. There was a time she was with one guy that is a total player, this guy has all the qualities of a gigolo, meaning, he is attractive and very conscious of the way he looks, he always wants to look perfect, he doesn’t care about Sonia, rather on his look. Everyone who’s got eyes  could see that this guy was not right for her, but she wouldn’t listen, she believes she can tolerate him as long as he can tolerate, cause she’s a handful, hehehehe. Still is!

Sonia continued dating this self-absolving guy that does not hesitate to publicly humiliate when he had the chance. Not until she met his friend, let’s call him Richard, at a gathering, I can’t really say how they met, but she was so attracted to this friend of her boyfriend, that she did all she could to be around him. Whenever he was around her, her usual chatty and uppity self calms down immediately, she automatically becomes a quiet and conscious person, hehehehe.

When she couldn’t handle it, she came to me to ask of my  opinion, I quickly relayed her message to a   few of my senior friends and told her what they think about it, because I know she wouldn’t really take what I say kindly, because I would be brutal. I’m that harsh when it comes to her, hehehehe. She was advised to come clean to her boyfriend and breakup with him, if she wants to pursue this guy, because we all can see  that she’s silently falling in love with Richard. Although she didn’t know it then, she thought it was just an attraction, well to cut the long beautiful story shorter, lol, she was the one that initiated the relationship with the guy who was also silently coming around just to see her face, it didn’t take long for the fire between them to be set ablaze. lolzz. Today the both of them are happily married with three adorable kids!!

Shortcut to happiness can only be possible through the Love route. Now if you seek happiness that has nothing to do with a relationship, but other matters that life throws, then you need to appreciate and respect the people around you, respect the people above you even If they are your junior, and have a clean cause of motivation, Love your neighbors as you would yourself, if your neighbor is hard to love, just avoid them, so as not to stain yourself.

It’s the season of Love, open your heart to love, open your heart to new possibilities. Love is in the air!

Gotta go now, please eel free to leave a comment in the comment box below.

Xoxo.

Why Does People Cheat On Their Spouse?

Helloo Amigos, hehehehe, how have you guys been? Most of you guys are probably concerned for my absence, I assure you I’m good, just being busy with lots of things, that I’m not going to mention here, for privacy sake, hehehehe. I hope you guys are okay, and are enjoying the best that this week has to offer.

Our discussion is why do we cheat on our spouse, this question begs to be answered, hehehe.  The question is actually, why does people cheat on their spouse or lover, hehehe. Do people cheat on their spouse for love? Maybe searching for the right person, when you are certain that you don't love the personyou are with. Pleasure? Just to catch fun, and think you are still young and in the market for more fun. Money? Payback? Maybe your spouse did something, and you decided payback is the only way to settle your anger. Adventure? Fun? Fear? That’s absurd, you cant cheat when you are scared, hehehe, What?

Can it possibly be for the fun of it, or for the adventure of being smart, or the pleasure of testing the waters, could it per chance be for too much of love for your spouse?

The thing is there are different reasons for cheating on a spouse. But that’s not all, some people actually cheat for no particular reason at all.

Now, cheating on a spouse you promise to love and never leave, is a very risky and wicked thing to do, theres no justification for it.

How can you say you love someone, yet you get attracted by another? How can you destroy the happy union you have with one person just because you want to see what will happen with another? For those that have done it before, was is it worth it? Ofcourse everyone has their own reason, but is it worth it.

This boils down to comfort and love, if you don’t love your spouse or if you are not comfortable with your spouse despite the love you have for them, you will be enticed to cheat.

And the most interesting part of it is that, no one wants to know that their spouse is cheating on them, even if you have the heart of gold, you cannot be okay with being betrayed, only if you want to deceive yourself or you don’t love the person. Just place yourself on the person you are about to betray shoes, and see how it will fit. Don't throw away the good thing you have for a fling that willnot last, because no will want to keep a cheater.

Got to blast, feel free to make a comment in the comment box below…..

Xoxo

The Do's and Don't's Of A Good Relationship - 2

Loving someone unconditionally can be a handful,if the person doesn't love you in return.

Every lady needs a man to hold, protect her, tell her that she’s beautiful, and understands how she feels and is ready to stand by her side no matter what. I know it sounds so cliché, but trust me that is basically why a woman needs a man, the most important part is a woman needs a man that can give her beautiful babies, hehehehehehe.

Now ladies, it’s your turn, I addressed the guys before on The'ts Of Do's and Don't's Of A Relationship Here. As a lady who I’m very sure needs the quality of man that I have listed above, what do you think you should do to attract such a man?

Like I said to the guys, you should be yourself, and always be open and straightforward. Don’t pretend to be what you are not, because the real you will come out whether you want it to or not.

Ladies always end up as loosers in cases of pretense, that is why as a lady you should be plain, and always request the guy to be plain as well. Guys of these days don’t want a lady that they will be spending their hard earned cash on, guys prefer to have a lady to catch fun with and leave the next day, they don’t want a lady that will be asking them money for this and that. A guy will even prefer a lady to be his baby mama than have her as a wife.

The thing to do in cases like this, is to let the guy know upfront who you are, because if you pretend and the guy eventually find out the kind of person you truly her, he won’t hesitate to shake you off like a hot potato.

I’ve come to realize that most ladies prefer a man that loves them even if they  don’t love him, these ladies end up having a bad breakup, because it just can’t work, the both of you have to be in love and be ready to face whatever challenge life had to throw. A one way love relationship cannot hold the storms and calms of relationship. If you don’t love or have any real feelings for the guy, please let him go softly, even if he pleads his love for you will be enough, please don’t accept it, many relationship fall down because of this one way relationship. I think I will make a different post on this to elaborate more, when I do I will post the link HERE.

So, ladies, girls, be truthful in your relationships or expected relationships. A guy who will accept you for who you are and not for what you pretend to be will love you and respect you for you. Guys respect ladies that say their mind and say things as they see it, and that respect always blossom into love.

Got to blast, feel free to make a comment in the comment box below…..

Xoxo

What Is The Extent Of Jealousy?

The title is supposed to be how far can fits of jealousy last, yep. Hey Amigos, how’s the week going on with you guys, any new happenings around your life? I hope whatever it is, it’s what you want.

Jealousy is a state of being suspicious and protective of something, basically. Someone can be jealous of a spouse, or of a friend, or work colleague, even relatives, neighbors, etc. The cause of jealousy can range from minor to major possessions. Most of you already knows this better than me, the question now is, how long can it last? Does it have an expiry date? Everybody must have felt jealousy towards someone at one point in their lives, it is a unique feeling that comes unexpectedly, and turns to an obsession.

Most jealousies tend to make someone better, in the sense of the person aspiring to be better than a colleague or friend by working harder and setting goals. While some jealousies tend to be bloody.

How long does it last, I could remember when I was a teenager, I was jealous of a classmate so much that I stopped being her friend, I wasn’t jealous because she’s smarter than me or anything, but because she’s friendly and beautiful, can you imagine? Stupid jealousy that doesn’t make sense, if we could go back in time, I think I will still be jealous of her, hehehehe…. I can’t even remember when I got over it, maybe after graduation, I don’t know.

Now jealousy of the spouse, that, can be bloody at times, I’m sure most of us had read or heard about the Calgary man that killed his wife by dragging her on the road, if you have not , then  read it here , nobody can really say what transpired between them, all we know is that they had an argument in the car, she got stuck by seatbelt while trying to get out, and he kept on driving the car, as she was tangled with the seat belt. What could they be possibly arguing about? I bet 50 percent of people will say jealousy, husband cheating or wife cheating, the cause doesn’t really matter, it’s just a despicable thing to do.

In my country, when a man cheats on lady, it’s normal, and probably the wife’s fault, but if it’s a lady that cheats on her husband, she’s a bad person. That is how horrible it is in my country.

No matter what triggers your jealousy, I think it is best to pause and think before acting on it, because acting on a fit of jealousy can never be good for the person or the actor.

Just rambling…..

Got to blast, feel free to make a comment in the comment box below…..

Xoxo

The Do's and Don't's Of A Good Relationship - Part !

Hello Amigos, i know i've been MIA for a while now, please bear with me,,, work has been hectic and loving, hehehehe....
I suppose everybody want to be in a good relationship?
A relationship which you will be the center of spouses' universe, relationship with you as a shining star together with your knight of shining armor, or is that no longer in vogue? whichever it is that you want, the bottom line is we all want a relationship where we will feel special and needed.

How do we get into such a relationship? i will focus on the guys in this post, will make a post on ladies later on.

As a guy you would want your lady to respect you, see you as a strong and reliable boyfriend, lean and depend on you. What do you think you need to do to be such a superman for your girl? It is just to be yourself, don't be pretend to be what you are not, because in the long run, your true nature will come out whether you want it to or not.
Be the man you want your lady to see you as in the best way that you can. Once you are in the relationship, make sure to let the lady know about your bad and good qualities, let her know your limits (limit as in your weakness), your capabilities, your needs, your desires. Don't fake it, don't pretend to be okay with any fault you see in her, let her know from the beginning the kind of person you are. Your likes and dislikes.

If it is an intimate relationship you want to get into, the more quicker to be plain and open, don't act all macho and strong and careless, just because you want to get into her pants, one thing guys don't know is, ladies can see through your pretense, except the lady wants to pretend or ignore your tactics.
Don't pretend to have what you don't, be real, be cool and be yourself.

If it is a platonic relationship you want to get into, the better to be yourself, and not be ashamed to fall into your shoe, don't be ashamed to let your lady know how low and full your pocket is, don't be ashamed to let her know you are still searching for a job, or you are school cert holder, looking for admission at your age, don't be ashamed to let her know you don't own a car, or can't drive yet, don't be ashamed to tell her your ex left you for this reason or the other. In all don't be ashamed to be You! Regardless of your faults and fruits.
i assure you, you will be surprised at how accommodating ladies are once they see how truthful you are.
What a lady want is someone she can rely on, not someone who doesn't know how to stand for himself.

Search yourself, know who you are, know what you are, know where you are, know where you are going, know what you need to do to get there.

Until you know yourself and can love yourself together with your accomplishment, whether big or small, until then, please don't get into a relationship, because it will need a lot of work to make that relationship the kind of good you would want it to be.

Gotta go now amigos, Love you all...
please feel free to comment in the comment box below....
Ciao....

Is Being Careless Really Laziness?

Happy weekend Amigos, how are you and the family? I’m really sorry I couldn’t make any post yesterday, I know I have some regular readers that are concerned about my not posting yesterday, please I apologize, I got caught up with too much work and got so tired.

In the cause of my busyness yesterday, I lost my Nokia phone, still very much angry about it, when I got home and noticed it missing, and started lamenting to my love , he consoled me and promised to get me a new one, that calmed me down for like two hours, then it hit me again that I have actually lost lots of contacts, all my numbers are not stored in my sim and the stress it will take to retrieve my sim and update my contacts in my sim, ooohh boy! I started complaining again, my love just looked at me and said “how did you even manage to carelessly misplace your phone?”.

Now that statement got me thinking. Some people say carelessness is caused by laziness and joblessness; some people even say it as an abuse on someone’s personality.

I don’t think that is right, it is okay to be careless when you have a lot of work on your hands or you are confounded, because you are liable to be careless when you are overwhelmed.

What makes you overwhelmed can be caused by work, by the beauty or ugliness of a new environment, by joy, happiness, breakup, etc. whatever it is, it makes you lose control of yourself for a second or more, depending on the cause.

So there I was, so busy and carelessly misplaced my phone, now is that caused by laziness or busyness?

What is your thought about carelessness?

Got to blast, feel free to make a comment in the comment box below…..

Hugs and kisses from me!

What Is Loving for the Right Reasons?

Hey Amigos, hope the week is going alright for you and your family? And hope you have learnt to manage the weather, I know some people are loving this weather because of the coolness.

My talk today is a bit about love. Now can any of you explain to me the reason why we love? I believe we will know the meaning of love before knowing the reason, and I think everyone has his or her own definition of love, right?

Well, let me state my definition of love, Love is an unexplainable affection you feel for someone you admire and trust.

Now the question is, why do we love?

Many people love for different reasons, and understand the meaning of love in different ways. The sad part of it is that many people love for wrong reasons.

Some people love because they want to be loved, maybe they lack love while they are growing up, or maybe because they just want to feel special, most of these people don’t even know or have a better meaning of love.

Some love for the idea of being in love, these people tend to watch lots of romantic movies and read lots of romantic novels, these set of people believe in love, but haven’t felt real love before, so they think they love someone based on the kind of love they observe from movies and books.

Some love for the sake of having someone to love. These people just want someone around, so they tend to love the person unconsciously.

That is not real love; all those are artificial reasons of being in love. Now I’m not talking about lust or like but love, the feeling or the subconscious feeling as the case maybe, is there, but they are not there for the right reasons.

Some love out of gratitude.

Some love for what they can get from someone, it might start as a game, but later increase to love, in this cases, the love can genuine, and it also can be artificial.

There are so many false reasons, we should first learn the basics, meaning and reasons of love before getting into it.

It is of importance to know the meaning of love and understand the reason of being in love.

So, anyone with a good explanation should please enlighten us on the reason for love.

Got to blast, feel free to make a comment in the comment box below…..

Hugs and kisses from me!

Doing Things for the Love Of It, Not For The Fear Of It

Good day amigos, how’s your day today? Hope the traffic wasn’t horrible? How was work, the family and the kids? Hope all is well….

The weather is so stiff and cold, the air is dry, this harmattan just got serious after the Christmas holiday, the harmattan makes people drink lots and lots of water, cause the throat dries quickly.

Now water is good for the body, it energizes and purifies the body, we drink lots of water to keep the dryness of our throat at bay, not just for the love of it, most people that hardly drink 1 liter of water a day, now they drink up to 10litre! Harmattan good o! Hehehehe.

It is good to do things for the love of it, not for the fear of it, as for the season and harmattan, it is unavoidable. Hehehe.

But for other things, don’t just do it because you are being forced to or because you don’t have the courage to say no. Most people go to work because they had to, not  because they love what they do, Most people also get married because of pressure not because they are ready, or they are so in love.

I could remember when I was about to start primary school, my elder brother was tutoring me at home in preparation for when I start. He used to beat me mercilessly if I don’t get a question right, that made me to steel myself, and force myself to study hard, not because I loved it, but because I was afraid of being beating. It got to a point where they made me an example to class mates, my teachers then loved and adored me for being so brilliant, but I wasn’t happy, when I eventually got used to my studies, and could do my assignments by myself and the beating stopped, I lost interest in studying. And went down In my academic performance.

I lost interest because the beating stopped, and got back on track when I understood the real purpose for going to school and being brilliant.

The beating wasn’t that awful, just a few slaps in public, the fact that it was in public made it more painful for me. At that age I could remember it till now. It actually taught me a great lesson in life.

 Please amigos, do what you love and enjoy, not what you feel pressured to or forced to.

As for working because you had to, I can relate, our country economic didn’t give us a chance to have a choice.

Got to blast, feel free to make a comment in the comment box below…..

Hugs and kisses from me!

                                      

What Do you Think About Same Sex Marriage?

Now everybody has a right to their preferences. Many states in abroad are legalizing same sex marriages now, gone are the days of closeted gay relationships, gay relationships are now legal in abroad, any means of molesting is now an offense. Gay couples can now show their affection for each other public without being shy about it.

is it true that marriage is all about love and not gender? is it also true that love is gender blind?

What makes me wonder, what it is that makes same sex relationship wrong, and why people are changing their sexual and body organ in surgery, what is the need for plastic surgery?

I just don’t understand why someone will say they are not comfortable in their skin as a man or as a woman and want to alter the perfect natural way they were created.

I saw a program on television, where a lady said she decided to become a man because she was never comfortable in her skin as a lady, she said she always love to dress and act like a guy, she’s also attracted to girls. That’s why she decided to go for (I don’t what it is called) treatment to alter her sexual organs to a man’s’.

And this lady got into a relationship with another lady that supported her throughout her transformation to becoming a man. They later got married as man and wife or wife and wife, can’t say, when it got down to having kids, it was the lady who became a man that gave birth to their kids, so the kids have two mothers or daddy and mummy as the case may be. maybe the body transformation will be reduced now that same sex marriage has been legalized in abroad, or what do you think?

There were even cases where two men got married and had a surrogate mother give birth to their two kids, one from each of the two men, making the kids have two fathers and loads of nannies.

Kids from divorced family usually have two mothers and two fathers, presently it is now two fathers no mother, and two mothers no father.

As for plastic surgery, why are we boosting our boobs and our bum and our chin and our foreheads and our…….fill in the list yourself. There are ways to look beautiful and plumpy in a more healthy way (will discuss that later). I’m not trying to spoil business for anybody, but plastic surgery is not healthy, you can get infections in the place that was cut and stitched. Please be careful with what you do to yourself, it is your body, you can do whatever you want with it, but always take caution, don’t focus on the benefits alone,  know the side effects and the  dangers that might arise.

In all, be yourself, don’t be a trend follower, be a trend setter. I know that’s what I am.

Got to blast, feel free to make a comment in the comment box below…..

Hugs and kisses from me!

Seasonal Cold

How are my lovely amigos! The beginning of the week started with lots of engagement, being forced to wake earlier than usual, feeling lazy and half-sleep-walking. School has resumed, and work has started. Those of us that have little adorables to dress up for school had to wake up early to prepare them, eehm. Those of us that had to wake early in order to beat traffic and get to work on time, and for those of us that have our own businesses are the only ones to sleep to our fill and wake whenever we want, in all, I hope your day went well as expected.

Also, those of us that have running nose, and unexplainable cold, this weather (hamtan) is making it more difficult, with all the dryness of weather, and dusty environment, cupboards, wardrobes, etc.

The only nice place to go to is the kitchen because of it’s warmed, the warmed in the kitchen envelopes you and makes breathing a lot easier and nicer, especially if you just cooked a wonderful meal, the aroma makes it all nicer.

Sweeping or dusting of your home becomes difficult too because you can hardly bend down as your nose continue to run, and you keep blowing catarrh off an handkerchief or tissue paper, it really can be frustrating, trust me, I’ve been there.

What worked for me when it comes to cleaning is; for the sweeping of the floor, i first of all mopped the floor, before sweeping, because the dust increases the sneezing and the catarrh, so the moping removes the dust and makes sweeping much manageable.

Now, those of you that uses rug in your home, its best to sprinkle few drops of water on your rug before sweeping, and tie up your nose with handkerchief, to ward off the dust, and please open all your windows, allow air to get in and blow off the dust. Hope this helps.

Have a cup of hot tea, and keep warm.

Please try and take life easy, pray well, believe in your prayers, believe in God, be good and do to others what you can handle if it is done to you.

Got to blast, feel free to make a comment in the comment box below…..

Hugs and kisses from me!

Who Can You Say Is Trustworthy?

Hello amigos - Friends, how was your day today? How was Church Service? Most of you are starting their 21-days or two weeks fasting tomorrow. Make sure you stick to it, because there’s no one more trustworthy than God.

Not even Family members, I was expecting my brother to come visit me and my family today from Portharcourt, but I got the disappointment of the day, when my elder sister called to tell me he wouldn’t be able to make it again. What is annoying is the fact that he couldn’t call to tell me himself, (guilty conscience) the reason she gave is understandable, but he could’ve told me. It just goes to show that family members too are not that reliable,  now don’t get me wrong, I love my family to pieces, and my brother is my most handsome bestie, but I am annoyed that he didn’t see it fit to come, after promising us he would, and getting the kids worked up with his intended arrival. I miss my siblings! ah!

The other group that are not so trustworthy are friends, I am a very reserved person, that’s why I don’t make much friends, infact in this Lagos I don’t have anybody I could call my best friend, I’m not too old to have a best friend, mind you, we all need at least one person to call a best friend, that one person that will stand by no matter what.

I used to have one lady in Lagos that I saw or took as a best friend, but she didn’t take me as such, I knew this by her actions and so I had that pocket my bestie card, hehehehe, we are still friend, but I can’t call her my best friend anymore. My neighbors are my new friends, hehehehe.

I used to envy people that has lots of friends, I still do sometimes, but with all the betrayal coming from this so called friends, I just shake my head and say na wa.

Now, I’m not saying friends aren't good, but choose your friends wisely, get a standard that you would want this friend to meet, before you can call this person your friend, most people try to come into our lives to compare, envy or destroy and see what they can gain from us. That’s why we all should have learned how to filter our friends.

Do you have your FF? You should get your Friend Funnel (FF) and filter your friends, and select the good from the bad, then use your seventh sense to do the rest.

Alright amigos, that’s all for today, will see what’s happening in our entertainment world, and post what’s significant for you amigos. In case you are wondering, Amigo means Friend.

Got to blast, feel free to make a comment in the comment box below…..

Hugs and kisses from me!

INTRODUCTION: Welcome To Vera's Blog

Hello amigos, how are you doing today, how did your day go? Hope cool and promising?

We all need someone to give us a few minutes of the day to listen to our rant and rave or just hear us talk right? Well, that’s what am here for, to give my readers a listening ear, no sorry, listening eyes.

I have created this blog in hopes of being able to communicate with people that want to talk but couldn’t get who to talk to, so writing out your feelings is another good way to pour your feelings out.

Well I’ll be doing a lot of that here, talking, chatting and teaching (the little I know), and maybe uploading pictures when it is required or if I have it, I can also borrow pictures from Google, hehehehe.

This blog is about everything and anything that comes to mind or action around me. Oh yeah, I want an avenue to be me and to be entertaining at the same time.

I am officially welcoming every member/reader and prospect member/reader of my blog to this great and I hope invigorating blog, and to wish you all an Awesome New Year!!!!

Now please be warned, I don’t think I will be able to make post on daily basis, but when I can I will. I love to write, and I don’t have many friends around me, all of my friends are scattered in different states in Nigeria and abroad. So who better to turn to when I feel like pouring my heart out than my readers through my hobby which is writing! Ooohh yeah!

Got to blast, feel free to make a comment in the comment box below….. (This will be my end note from now on)

Hugs and kisses from me!

Happy New Year!!